When he wrote about having 2 wives, and how his wife narrate her friends' experiences in having 2 wives, it reminded me of some of my acquaintances' experiences in this department. Now I of course, do not have experience of being the first wife, or a second. Heck I don't have the experience of being a wife even in the first place. But this is what I "think" I would react to if I were to be caught in this situation, based on this story.
I remember meeting a lady back in Melaka when I was doing a project there. Let's call her Elle. Elle was the lady who helped getting a condo for me to stay during the 4 months of my stay there. She's a young lady, in her mid twenties, with a very adorable 3 year old daughter and holding a title of second wife to a Datuk.
She met the Datuk when she was working as a waitress in some hotel in KL. She was only 21 that time. She didn't like the Datuk when they were introduced. She avoided contact with him. And besides, she said she was already head over heel with a guy her age and within her league at that time. But the Datuk was very persistent. Elle IS a gorgeous lady I must say. Can't blame the Datuk.
Then Elle thought, if she asked the Datuk to arrange for a meeting with the first wife because she wanted to personally asked the wife whether she knew about the husband's intention and whether the wife approves of it, maybe the Datuk would give it up and leaves her alone. Ye la kan... ikut rationally, I don't think ANY guy is bold enough to do things like that. But boy, she was soooo wrong.
The Datuk did what she asked. He brought his wife to meet her. And the first wife, a VERY mature lady, was so calm and did not even once raised her voice during her 'interrogation' with Elle. She calmly asked Elle whether she is prepared to face the talk of the town of her being the 2nd wife to a Datuk at a very young age... Of course behind the curtains, they knew that the Datuk was the one who was... in their own word, 'gatal' chasing her around but people don't know that. Living in a very judgmental community, they will see Elle as a classic golddigger case. After couple of hours of 'talking', Elle has her blessings.
Looking back Elle said, she never knew why exactly she accepted Datuk's proposal. She cried on her wedding night thinking about her now, ex. But after 6 years of happily married to the same guy, and 6 years of wonderful relationship with the first wife and her kids, she has accepted the fact that this is her faith. This is her destiny. She's meant to be with him. She's meant to share.
Now. Me.
I want to be like both ladies. I mean, if I were a first wife and my husband wants to have a 2nd wife, of course provided he CAN afford having them, dunia akhirat, I would want my husband to tell me the truth. Be man enough to tell me that he has such a big heart yang tersangat penuh dengan kasih sayang that he just needs to share it with someone else aside of me and I want to meet this new lady that he wants me to share his love with, and money. Heh. I want to see if she's the type that I can trust enough to look after my kids when I'm gone.
And if I were to be the second wife, I want to meet the first wife first. I want to know where she stands in the situation. I want to know what and who I'm dealing with if I were to continue the relationship. I want to know that she is able to take my kids like they are hers when I'm gone.
Agak la kot kan. Si Gayah ni cakap je pandai. Cuba carik boyfriend dulu Gayah oiii.. Ni baru orang nak kenalkan, dah lari lintang pukang siap muntah2 hijau lagik, memandai je nak bercerita pasal first wife second wife. Nyeh nyeh.
I remember meeting a lady back in Melaka when I was doing a project there. Let's call her Elle. Elle was the lady who helped getting a condo for me to stay during the 4 months of my stay there. She's a young lady, in her mid twenties, with a very adorable 3 year old daughter and holding a title of second wife to a Datuk.
She met the Datuk when she was working as a waitress in some hotel in KL. She was only 21 that time. She didn't like the Datuk when they were introduced. She avoided contact with him. And besides, she said she was already head over heel with a guy her age and within her league at that time. But the Datuk was very persistent. Elle IS a gorgeous lady I must say. Can't blame the Datuk.
Then Elle thought, if she asked the Datuk to arrange for a meeting with the first wife because she wanted to personally asked the wife whether she knew about the husband's intention and whether the wife approves of it, maybe the Datuk would give it up and leaves her alone. Ye la kan... ikut rationally, I don't think ANY guy is bold enough to do things like that. But boy, she was soooo wrong.
The Datuk did what she asked. He brought his wife to meet her. And the first wife, a VERY mature lady, was so calm and did not even once raised her voice during her 'interrogation' with Elle. She calmly asked Elle whether she is prepared to face the talk of the town of her being the 2nd wife to a Datuk at a very young age... Of course behind the curtains, they knew that the Datuk was the one who was... in their own word, 'gatal' chasing her around but people don't know that. Living in a very judgmental community, they will see Elle as a classic golddigger case. After couple of hours of 'talking', Elle has her blessings.
Looking back Elle said, she never knew why exactly she accepted Datuk's proposal. She cried on her wedding night thinking about her now, ex. But after 6 years of happily married to the same guy, and 6 years of wonderful relationship with the first wife and her kids, she has accepted the fact that this is her faith. This is her destiny. She's meant to be with him. She's meant to share.
Now. Me.
I want to be like both ladies. I mean, if I were a first wife and my husband wants to have a 2nd wife, of course provided he CAN afford having them, dunia akhirat, I would want my husband to tell me the truth. Be man enough to tell me that he has such a big heart yang tersangat penuh dengan kasih sayang that he just needs to share it with someone else aside of me and I want to meet this new lady that he wants me to share his love with, and money. Heh. I want to see if she's the type that I can trust enough to look after my kids when I'm gone.
And if I were to be the second wife, I want to meet the first wife first. I want to know where she stands in the situation. I want to know what and who I'm dealing with if I were to continue the relationship. I want to know that she is able to take my kids like they are hers when I'm gone.
Agak la kot kan. Si Gayah ni cakap je pandai. Cuba carik boyfriend dulu Gayah oiii.. Ni baru orang nak kenalkan, dah lari lintang pukang siap muntah2 hijau lagik, memandai je nak bercerita pasal first wife second wife. Nyeh nyeh.
4 orang buang masa di GayahLand:
its good that U do try to think and look at things from both perspective, coz many a person would just be selfish and think about herself only in this kinda situations.
biar la orang kata "Weiiii Gayah, ngko boifren pun tak ada lagi, toksah lah pikir yg bukan2 pasal jadi bini tua atau muda!"
yg penting, I rasa lah, U sekarang sedang mempraktikkan kematangan berfikir bila menilai kes-kes yang berlaku disekeliling U!
sekian, terimakasih! Dan...
muahahaha.....
ni melaka kat mana cerita ko nih? melaka yang dekat dengan negeri sembilan kat malaya tu atau planet melaka dalam sektor tujuh galaxy zordan?
Ahan, i "try" to think maturely. but ye la kan.. i dont know whether i can really practise what i preached bila dah terkena kat batang idung sendiri.
Tok, melaka sektor tujuh galaxy zordan swasta kerajaan ke hapamende ni seme aku tak tau wujudnya kat mana. jadiknya tinggal melaka dekat nogori tu je lah cite aku nih.
gayah, ahan ngan tok [fyi: 'ngan' = '&' dan bukan kepala perkataan 'tok' yang terputus]
mengikut "catalog of galaxies, planets & other objects stellar and non stellar" planet melaka dalam sektor 7 galaxy zordan tu, makhluk dia tak pakai konsep kelamin.
jadi isu bermadu/berkongsi pasangan, isteri nombor keberapa, curi/mencuri laki/bini org kira2 moot lah dlm legalspeak [betul ke tak guna 'moot' cegitu?].
kesimpulan eh, cerito cik gayah gobu kito ni mestilah berlaku kek melako yang sebolah nogori 9 tu. :D
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