Trouble mind

Ok. I'm in the mood of 'menyemakkan' Concrete-Lilac.


I'm having trouble adjusting with my horrible swing moods for the past few weeks. It ain't fun no more when you can't even decide what to eat for lunch with this kind of mood I tell ya!! And it's definitely NOT fun when you have all these weird instincts which led you to believe on rubbish thoughts.


I have LOTS of questions to ask him but since my hantu keliwon a.k.a my ego kept psycho-ing me in saying that I will turn to a psycho bitch if I started questioning him, I swallowed my curiosity. Not healthy I know because then, the ugly side of Gayah will start taking charge by giving him attitude like he has done some mistake when it was clearly nothing.


Seriously, what the fuck is happening to me?? It's not that we have signed any agreement on whatever this, this ship. SEE!! I don't even know what to label our ship. Friendship ke, relationship ke, black sheep ke... Haiyoo Gayaaahhhhhhh... awat banyak sangat pikir niiii?!!!!


I know I like his company. And I know he cares for me, in his own strange ways.


He laughs at my stupid jokes. He made me laugh because he's stupid.





Why can't I just be content with this and stop acting like I own him?

Bila jadik Pendiam tetiba salah...

Last week Wednesday in Ampang....


Grandma: Engkau ada kecik ati ngan aku ke?

Me: *tercekik jemput pisang* Ohok ohok.. ngape tok mak? Orang nak kecik ati pasal mende?

Grandma: Ye aa... kau diam je datang sini minggu lepas. Aku ingat aku ada cakap mende2 buat kau kecik ati.

Me: *terkebil-kebil* Takde mende ah tok mak. I memang pendiam pemalu skarang.

Grandma: *muntah biawak*


****


15 mins ago at a cafe over plates of lamb chop and meatballs...



Me: Nily earlier asked me.. "why do you look so cool?" and I was, cool or cold? and he said, no no.. cool.. and I wanted to say thank you but I've always looked cool what hehe.. then he continued said I looked different, quiet, no loud music...

Boss #2: Yerp.. I noticed that. You've been quiet these past few days. Are you trying new style?

Me: No. I've always been quiet what... pendiam, pemalu... *battling eyelashes*

Boss #2: NOT! You can never be what you are not my dear. You are loud. You are outgoing. Its just WRAAUUNNNGGG to see you so senyap.






Cik Gayah tak kecik ati dengan sesapa. Cik Gayah tak perasan cool juga. Dia cuma in a phase of malas nak bukak mulut je sekarang nih. Cik Gayah akan kembali seperti sediakala bila dia rasa nak kembali seperti sediakala. Ini bermakna, blog ini juga akan menyepikan diri sehingga Cik Gayah terasa nak menyemakkan dia semula.

Sekian.

The flashback...

...hurts

Abah Aku the Rawkstar

Truut tuut... truut...


Abah: Assamekom

Me: Komsalam.

Abah: Awak sehat?

Me: Huh? Aaa.. sehat. Ngape bah?

Abah: Takde la.. Mama cakap awak nak gi kenduri kawen sabtu nih. Tu ahh abah tanya sehat ke tak tetiba je nak gi kenduri. Kot la buang tebiat ke apa kannnn...




Astagaaaaa!! Buang tebiat dikatanya aku. Haih.. abah abah..

How hard it is to be Gayah...

Cik Gayah came to office with a BIG grin on her face.


Cik Gayah smiled to everybody who walked in the office and cheerfully shrieked GOOD MOORRRNNIIIINNNGGG!!


Cik Gayah beamed throughout the weekly meeting until she got a question from Chief, what the f is going on with her smiling stupidly like that asked the annoyed Chief.






Aku datang opis muka happy salah.

Datang opis muka meruk salah.

Haih. Susah la jadik Gayah nih.

Nyeh.

Dear Life

Early was the morn
Flowers filled with dew
I became somebody
through loving you
Softly as a child
born in natural rain
I predict the seasons
to go unchanged

Sometimes in life
You run across a love unknown
Without a reason
It seems like you
belong
Hold on Dear Life
Don't go off running from what's new
I became somebody
through loving you

Warm was the sun
that covered my body so
Reminded me of you
as I'd first known
Those were the days
the days that changed my life
and made me new
I became somebody
through loving you

Sometimes in life
You run across a love unknown
Without a reason
it feels like you
belong
Hold on Dear Life
Don't go off running from what's new
I became somebody
through loving you

As the sun shined
down on me
I know with you in love
is where I wanna be
Oh sometimes
I go on through life
thinking that love is something
that's not meant for me

Hold on Dear Life
I became somebody
through loving you

-Anthony Hamilton, Dear Life-

Berangan dalam ketakutan

Whoaa.. not bad Gayah. 3 entries in a day. Caya lahhh!!

It has been a dreadfully looooonnnnngggg week for all of us in the office. What's with the never ending projects and more of them coming our way (not that we are complaining of course, more projects means Europe is just a click away yippieeeee) and Chief in a veerryyyyy lousy mood past few days doesn't help either. He's not talking. Out most of the time, which of course, no complaints whatsoever. But whenever he steps back in, he has this lousy loonnnggg face which made all of us jump in terror whenever he call us to his office.


I have tons of unfinished tasks on my hand. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get in a REALLY BIG trouble if I didn't complete it by the next weekly meeting. And with his "mood"... I'm lucky if I just get a warning letter man...


My Ma is in town. That is like, the ONLY reason for me to keep surviving (macam la kau pegi berperang kan Gayah). The thought of her bubur jagung keledek is the only thing that keeps me going. Haih.. saturday is just a day away... sabar Gayah.


*berangan sambil kesat peluh di dahi*

Her Diary vs His Diary

Her Diary

Dear Diary,


Last night was an awful night for me. I can feel he's changed. I can feel his love to me is fading away. Oh Diary, what am I to do?


I came back from the girl's night out last night pretty late. When I reached home, he was in front of the tv with an emotionless face. I kissed him on his forehead and asked how was his day and the only response I got was "hmmm". He didn't even look at me! I mean, yeah I didn't call him when I went out with the girls but I already told him 3 days ago about the plan. And I couldn't call him the entire day because of the stupid project which took up my time. It's not like I see the girls every night.


Then, we made love. Without saying good night, he just rolled over and slept.


Oh God my heart breaks.



His Diary


The team lost again last night. Oh well, at least I got laid.

Being in love...

...is like owning a designer label. The adrenaline rush when you first set your eyes on it. The smell. The electric shock running through your body when you first touch it. The out of breath when it slides on your body. The gasp that you get from everyone around you when they see you parading your label. Owh how you enjoy the envy and the jealousy from the people around you.


You can't take your eyes off your label. Every single night you put yourself to sleep with your label around your body. You make sure that the label is well maintained. You make every effort to make sure your label is noticed all around the corner.


And then, the label starts wearing you out. The high maintenance they require... the constant effort of making sure it always look timeless... the effort in making sure the label stays with you and doesn't get snapped away from the jealousy people. Oh the work! It's exhausting!





No wonder I can never be in love for too long. Not only can I NOT afford it, I don't have the blardy patience to sustain it.


Darn!

CSI

Last week was like, the crime week in my office building and also my colleague's house at a nearby condo. There are 4 of us who live just about 10 mins top of walking distance to the office. Yeah, we friggin loooovveeeeee our office too much that we just have to see our office building every time we open our friggin sliding door. Hah.


But I digress.


Anyhoo, last week, there was a robbery on my office level. That company lost 7 pcs/laptops during lunch hour. Apparently, there were 2 guys came over claiming to spray some insects chemical. At first I thought, maybe the receptionist got knocked out because of the chemical smell or something but apparently, according to the cleaner (yeap aku memang kepoh), the receptionist went down to tapau lunch, leaving the 2 guys having their hoohaa time packing up 7 pcs/laptops on their own. Well, that to me was.... super moron la kan. Like how on earth can you just leave the office to strangers like that? But... shit happens lah. I feel bad for the receptionist though. Sure kena super sula from the bosses.


Then, last weekend, 2 guys came over to my colleague's house claiming that they got an instruction from my colleague's landlord to service the aircond. Funny part was, my colleague's house doesn't even have an aircond in the first place. Mesti the strangers thought, aisey bodonyaaaaa cakap aircond patut cakap nak betulkan jamban kaannnnn. When the guys saw my colleague calling the landlord, they just walked away.


And then...


*Gayah kalau nak cite pasal mende jadik kat dia memang drama lebey kaannnn*


I encountered a super creepy perv guy in my office area. I first met him in a cafe last week when I wanted to buy breakfast. He was there having his. The moment I stepped out of the lift until I got back to the lift, he looked at me like he wanted to jump on me. And that crook smile!! And then, same day, I went out for a smoke at the lift lobby sometime around noon. He came out of nowhere, asked to borrow my lighter. He practically grabbed my whole hand to take that lighter, you know! My mouth was already nak mengeluarkan segala jenis api to fire him but when I saw the way he looked at me and that smile, for the first time, my brain worked faster than my mouth. I thought, it would not be such a good idea to be harsh on this man when I have no weapon whatsoever with me at that time. Buatnya dia merentan, mati aku. And then, for 2 days in a row, everytime I opened my office door, there he was. Walking aimlessly and kept turning back to look at me.


Pepper spray is now my best friend. And everywhere I go now, I never leave that thing. Even to throw rubbish at my condo. Seriously! It's getting freaking scary now


But then, I got to thinking. What if the criminals use the pepper spray to do bad things on us?? Oh man... now I have to be a walking hardware store lah. I'll have pepper spray, rambo knife, bottle of acid, chota, baseball bat, the works. Hah! ADA BERANI?!!!!




Jokes aside, be alert you people. It's a dangerous world out there. *inhaling exhaling smoke*




*poyo muka Femme Fatale*