Welcome to the Hj Ibrahim's clan little girl...

After 7 boys, the eldest at the age of 13 years old and the youngest 2 years old, my Poksu (abah's youngest brother) and wifey FINALLY, welcoming a baby girl in the family at 1225pm today.


Another cousin.


Another kopak duit raya.


Haih. Kensel ah balik kampung raya nih.




Updated to the above. Conversation between me and the new proud dad.


Kring kring kring..


Me: CONGRATULATIOOOONNSSSSSS!!


Poksu: Laaa.. dah tau dah ke?


Me: Daaahhh.. Abah called at 2 tadik.


Poksu: Hmph! Tak jadik my stunt nak buat seprais.


Me: Hik. Nama apa?


Poksu: Amelia Contessa..


Me: OVEEERRRR!!! Dah nak panggil apa? Contest?


Poksu: Hahahah.. A la jugak startingnya tapi tak pikir lagik hamende.. Kinda missed out on that dept sebab dah biasa sangat expecting boys.


Background suara kanak2 lelaki berebut memekik menjerit nak cakap dengan Tai-nya.


Me: Sapa tu Poksu pekik2?


Poksu: Your youngest cousin. Dah ler.. Poksu kena letak. Kang sampai besok malam tak abis cakap.


Me: Ok.. kemsalam moksu. And kiss the boys and the new girl for me.



I'm kinda waiting for the boys reactions when the mommy is home with the new baby sister. Mesti ada soalan seperti, "ma, apesal adik punye takde beberd?"


Hehe. Cute.

Kehidupan seorang hamba tender

This is the image of my Saturday and Sunday in the office's meeting room. As a tender slave. With Chief in his room and 2 other boys, our saturday was spent from 1030am to 805pm. And from 430pm to 730pm on sunday.


Bes kan?


The next thing I'm NOT looking forward is the clarification meeting.


Another 21 hours of slaving.


Sheez.

Tikus Diva

Ni lah kuli.


Bila dengar je bos kuar bilik, tutup lampu kunci pintu, badan terus tegak. Dan dan muka tekun buat keja. Pehtu bila nampak bos lalu, dengan sopan bertanya:


"Are you planning to stay late today or you're not coming back at all?"


"Late la kalau balik pun. Why?"


"Need to discuss on the tender,"


"Tomorrow morning lah before the boys come. Ok?"


*Shrug*


Kunon la kan buat muka kusut sebab memikir tender. Padahal dalam hati...


Sebaik saja bos melangkah kuar pintu, kuli pun hapa lagik la kaaannnnnnn...


Tutup fail tender.


Kemas meja.


Bukak game.


Bukak blog.


Bukak FB.


Angkat beg.


Kuar lunch sampai petang.


*gelak drakula*

The Wives Club

When he wrote about having 2 wives, and how his wife narrate her friends' experiences in having 2 wives, it reminded me of some of my acquaintances' experiences in this department. Now I of course, do not have experience of being the first wife, or a second. Heck I don't have the experience of being a wife even in the first place. But this is what I "think" I would react to if I were to be caught in this situation, based on this story.


I remember meeting a lady back in Melaka when I was doing a project there. Let's call her Elle. Elle was the lady who helped getting a condo for me to stay during the 4 months of my stay there. She's a young lady, in her mid twenties, with a very adorable 3 year old daughter and holding a title of second wife to a Datuk.


She met the Datuk when she was working as a waitress in some hotel in KL. She was only 21 that time. She didn't like the Datuk when they were introduced. She avoided contact with him. And besides, she said she was already head over heel with a guy her age and within her league at that time. But the Datuk was very persistent. Elle IS a gorgeous lady I must say. Can't blame the Datuk.


Then Elle thought, if she asked the Datuk to arrange for a meeting with the first wife because she wanted to personally asked the wife whether she knew about the husband's intention and whether the wife approves of it, maybe the Datuk would give it up and leaves her alone. Ye la kan... ikut rationally, I don't think ANY guy is bold enough to do things like that. But boy, she was soooo wrong.


The Datuk did what she asked. He brought his wife to meet her. And the first wife, a VERY mature lady, was so calm and did not even once raised her voice during her 'interrogation' with Elle. She calmly asked Elle whether she is prepared to face the talk of the town of her being the 2nd wife to a Datuk at a very young age... Of course behind the curtains, they knew that the Datuk was the one who was... in their own word, 'gatal' chasing her around but people don't know that. Living in a very judgmental community, they will see Elle as a classic golddigger case. After couple of hours of 'talking', Elle has her blessings.


Looking back Elle said, she never knew why exactly she accepted Datuk's proposal. She cried on her wedding night thinking about her now, ex. But after 6 years of happily married to the same guy, and 6 years of wonderful relationship with the first wife and her kids, she has accepted the fact that this is her faith. This is her destiny. She's meant to be with him. She's meant to share.


Now. Me.


I want to be like both ladies. I mean, if I were a first wife and my husband wants to have a 2nd wife, of course provided he CAN afford having them, dunia akhirat, I would want my husband to tell me the truth. Be man enough to tell me that he has such a big heart yang tersangat penuh dengan kasih sayang that he just needs to share it with someone else aside of me and I want to meet this new lady that he wants me to share his love with, and money. Heh. I want to see if she's the type that I can trust enough to look after my kids when I'm gone.


And if I were to be the second wife, I want to meet the first wife first. I want to know where she stands in the situation. I want to know what and who I'm dealing with if I were to continue the relationship. I want to know that she is able to take my kids like they are hers when I'm gone.






Agak la kot kan. Si Gayah ni cakap je pandai. Cuba carik boyfriend dulu Gayah oiii.. Ni baru orang nak kenalkan, dah lari lintang pukang siap muntah2 hijau lagik, memandai je nak bercerita pasal first wife second wife. Nyeh nyeh.

My New Housemate

My new housemate is a God-send.


She LOOOOVVVEESSSSS cooking. Every morning, I would wake up to the smell of bawang digoreng la.. or the sound of minyak letup2 laa. And every night, I have, get this... proper food for dinner on the dining table maaannn.. I seriously didn't know the kitchen is able to produce this much of food!! Seriously!!


Before she came to the house, my kitchen was like... a place where you put your utensils, or boiling water, or simply heating up something using the microwave. The stove was meant to cantek2 like that. And the fridge is stocked with frozen food and juices and fresh milk and if its lucky, it might find few bijik of eggs. Whenever he came to my house to be my handyman....


That didn't sound right.


Whenever he came to my house to do some handyman work...


Hmmm...


Bila dia datang jadik tukang betulkan umah la abis cite eh... he would massively kutuk my kitchen.


"Apa nih?!!! Don't you EVER eat in the house? Look at your garam. Keras siot!! And the onion!! Goodness!! You tengah tanam bawang in your cabinet keeee?!!!"


Kecik ati I tawww. You see!! Camne laa tak kena abuse dengan I kalau mulut takde insurance!!


It's not like I don't cook at all. I do. Cuma 6 bulan skali lah. Tu pun kalau tetiba tersinggah pasar malam and my nafsu of eating daging lemak cili api datang ke.. or ikan cencaru sumbat ke.. then I'll cook. Besides, why would I want to waste my peluh2 all to cook for ONE?!! And knowing myself, I won't eat what I cook. Takde selera. Dah tu, sapa nak makan I penat2 masak? Burung merpati??


*alasan*


My new housemate cooks every morning and night. And when I don't eat, she would pull a long face. Now, I don't want to sound ungrateful la kan. But, to eat rich food every night???


MAKIN GEDEBAB LA AKU CAMNIIIIII!!!!!!

The Abused and Abuser..

He: You know my cousin, Rajan (bukan nama samaran) right? His son likes Sean Kingston.. now he LOOKS like Sean Kingston too. Bulat siot!!


Me: *ketawa golek2 tapi sopan*


He: He's now almost at my height but he's huge. Like freaking huge!! He used to have good features tapi skarang sebab muka dah makin bulat, mata makin dah tak nampak. Sepet gila.


Me: How old is he now?


He: 12..


Me: OMG!!! You are what? 179cm?? And he's only 12!!


He: Yeap. Now he's wearing shoes size 10. Imagine when he's 18. Pakai kasut Ronald McDonald siot.


Me: *ketawa golek2 kurang sopan first level* I remember Rajan is not 'that' big. How's the wife? Is she big in size?


He: No lah. She's like you. Thinner of course.


Pause.


Me: HAAAIIIIYAAAAKKKKKKK *penumbuk* debuuussshhhhh!!


He: OOOUUCCHHHH!! What was that for?!!!!


Me: You said I'm fat!!


He: WHAT?!!! I didn't say you're fat! I said she's thinner!!


Me: HAAIIIYAAAKKKK *penumbuk* debuussshhhhh!!


He: HEEYYYY!! Sakit la mangkuuukkkkk!!!


Me: You said anything to do with body size again, I sumpah you jadik badak!!! Hah!!


He: Ni la pompuan!! Pantang dengar gemmm OOOWWWWWW!!!


Me: You finish lah that statement!! Finish laaahhhhhhhhhh!!!




If you see a guy, 179cm weighing at around 80kg, walking around with bruises and blueblack on his hand in KJ area, DON'T pity him. He said I'm fat! Hmph!

You've burnt my heart to stone

...and I hear your words that I made up
you say my name like there could be an us
I'd best tidy up my head
I'm the only one in love
I'm the only one in love


Why do you steal my hand
whenever I'm standing
my own ground
You build me up
Then leave me dead...





Spot on Adele.

Kan aku dah cakap my amma is a rawkstar...

Conversation between me and my amma last week.


Amma: ni lupa plak mama nak cite... maklong tahun depan dapat dua cucu sekaligus. along ngan angah pregnant... dua2 bersalin bulan 2 nanti.

Me: alhamdulillah.. wah timing memasing baeekkk je eh. pengsan aa maklong nanti nak kena jaga 2 orang pantang.

Amma: along balik umah mak mentua dia kot sebab dekat. angah tu je la maklong jaga sebab nak balik kelantan jauh kannn..

Me: Oh ok..


Pause.


Me: ma... ma sedih ke?

Amma: ngape mama nak sedihnya?

Me: ye aaa... maklong dah ada 3 cucu. makngah ada what? 6? 7? see... sampai lost count haa.. mama je takde lagik. dah ler anak mama ni sorang je kan...

Amma: dah Allah cakap bukan time awak lagik, mama nak buat apa. bukannya kita takde usaha ye tak.... doa je la banyak2.. awak tu pun... lembut2 kan la ati ye...

Me: Nak lembut guane lagik ma? I laa orang paling lemah lembut gemalai dalam dunia ni taawww..



Pause.


Me: Ma?


tenonet...tenonet...tenonet...


YA RABBI MAK AKU LETAK TEPON!!!!

I sakit... hukhuk... mak bapak jauuuhhh... sobsob...

Day: Friday, July 10, 2009
Time: 8pm
Venue: Pusat Rawatan Islam, Kelana Jaya



Doctor: Semekom... apa masalahnya?

Gayah: Komsalam (dalam ati). Sakit tekak. Feverish.

Doctor: Hmm.. (scribbles something).. You sure this is your first time? I swear you look really familiar.

Gayah: *roll eyes* Muka poster.

Doctor: *chuckle* Ok.. open your mouth and say aaaa

Gayah: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Doctor: Hmm.. teruk jugak bengkak tu. Ada bleeding sket. Kita tengok temperature ye... (inserting some kind of little torchlight in my ear)


Waiting... waiting...


Doctor: Your temperature has gone down but your throat is pretty bad.

Gayah: Nothing serious right?

Doctor: *smiled* (ingat ensem la tu?!! tuihh!!) No no.. you don't have to worry about the H1N1 virus. It's not that.

Gayah: Ok.

Doctor: Any allergy to any medicine?

Gayah: *angguk* Allergic makan banyak sangat ubat. So make it to the minimum as possible.

Doctor: *laughed* You're funny.

Gayah: So I've been told (dalam ati jugak)

Doctor: Ok.. I'm going to prescribe you some antibiotic, some med for the fever and for that sorethroat as well. Drink lots of water and avoid spicy and oily food in the meantime.







40 minutes later...

Girl behind counter: Welcome... having here or take away?

Gayah: Take away. Snack plate spicy satu... nak wing ngan thigh ye.





*matilah degil nauzubillah!!!

Michael Jackson Memorial

I didn't watch the live version. Knowing me, I would cry.. no! I would wail like pempuan mati laki at 1 in the morning and when I wake up the next day, I would be Kermit the Frog's twin.


So yesterday, I watched it after work. 7pm show at 711. True enough, I cried when Mariah Carey sang her version of I'll Be There and that was what? Barely 10 mins of the show? It got worst, my crying that is, when Stevie Wonder performed. He said something like he wished he didn't live to be in this moment and that really broke my heart.


Like most people, especially those who were born in the 70s, I grew up hooked on to MJ. Thriller never failed to make me scream in horror when that eerie man's voice 'laughing' at the end of the song. I stopped screaming at the age of 10 I think when Abah suddenly 'screamed' louder than I was.


"HOOIII!! HAMENDE JERIT2 NIH?!!!"


Bisu terus mak.


I remember when the Dangerous album was released. I saved up my school allowances so I could buy the cassette. And when I finally got it, I would play and replay and rewind the same cassette day in day out. There was one time, Abah was driving me to school and as usual, I quickly took out the cassette from my Walkman and slot it in the car cassette player. The first track was Dangerous and there was the sound of glass breaking in it. Abah immediately stopped the car and frantically screamed, "HAH!! APA PECAH APA PECAAHHHH?!!!" Nyeh nyeh. Nasib Abah takde heart attack kan.


My normal alarm to wake me up every morning is the radio. On 26th June 2009, at 730am, when the radio was blaring, the first thing I heard was the death of Farah Fawcett and I thought to myself, oh well. And then, the dj continued to say in grief about MJ's death and I thought to myself, that's funny lah!! MJ can NEVER die. He's immortal. And when I switched on the tv and watched CNN, it finally sunk in. He was truly gone.


Al-Fatihah and RIP MJ (mana2 yang sampai lah).


You will be sorely missed.


*meraung*